Health of the “Unhealthy”
Eat your greens, exercise, breathe clean air. So Simple. Why is it so damn hard to just be healthy?! Like, really healthy. As in- 6 pack abs, sipping herbal tea, munching on a perfectly portioned plate of green salad and protein, after a 5-mile run, getting ready to hop into your daily sauna after your 30-minute meditation, 1 hour of yoga and a delightfully full hand of supplements. And don’t forget to skin brush before your alternating hot and cold shower! Oh yeah, and you do this nice little routine daily…. Uh… excuse me!!!! Sometimes I feel like I am drowning my patients in the to-dos of the day and the not- to-dos of life. I sit in front of someone who has just poured their heart out about the difficult complexities of their existence that have led them to obesity, fatigue and the vast array of symptoms that make them feel like a 90-year-old sagging pile. They look at me with pleading eyes, saying “Please help! Tell me anything and everything I need to do. Make me better, make me whole, make me happier! I will do everything!!!!” I hike up my britches and get stoked, because I am going to so rock their world with the tools that will make them feel like the 45 year old that they actually are. I impart my knowledge with enthusiasm. Our combined stoke fills the air with excited energy. I watch them walk out the door with a joyous feeling, the adventure of wellness they are about to embark on this very day will transform them!
Yes, all of that happens… and then I see them 1 month later…
“I didn’t because…” “I stopped because…” “I just did not have enough time to…” “I do not want to give up beer…” “I just cannot give up…it makes me happy….” “I don’t want to limit my life to celery sticks.” I have heard soooo many excuses and guess what… At some point, I have made most of these excuses for myself. Because the bigger guess what… we are human. I am totally ok with you making every excuse. It is a process. Believe it or not, those excuses help guide us down a pathway of figuring out how to actually make you healthier. We all have our wants and desires and sometimes they beat out the desire to be healthy. There is a tipping point, when you have finally walked the healthy path for long enough. It is then you begin to realize giving up a few of those things is well worth feeling so much better. It is at that point you get to choose; is health truly living the perfect, green label, 6 pack ab life? No matter how long it takes you to get to a stable and healthy lifestyle we must not forget the health of the “unhealthy”. Hot chocolate makes kids bonkers but the memory of my father slowly adding condensed milk to a jar of sugar and cocoa brings up the sweetest and happiest of childhood memories. Finding my mind swimming after a couple margaritas while I laugh uncontrollably with my dearest of friends, is so so worth the extra milk thistle I have to take the next day. And spending a day curled up next to your family or lover on a cold wintery day, allowing your muscles to unwind can be greatly more nourishing than the 5 mile blizzard run. It’s a balancing act and a learned one. There is a time and a place for strict rules. There are times that a disease that has progressed too far needs those extreme restrictions.
I can’t tell you how many patients ask “well, what do you eat?” I search between my ears and think “Oh crap why did I have that extra cookie and cocktail last night! I am such a hypocrite.” In seconds my mind whirls from “fudge the truth, you ate great this morning and most of yesterday. They don’t need to know everything.” Then back to “just be honest, you are human too.” The humanity part wins out, because what I want my patients to know, is that healthy is not neurotic perfection. It is making sure your gains outweigh the losses. “So, yeah… I ate a monstrosity of a glutinous buttery chocolate chip cookie last night. It was delicious, I loved it. Perfect addition to a well balanced meal and a day I spent moving my body. And guess what, sometimes, occasionally when I am running late we have lentils from a package and I don’t add a single vegetable! (Pause for shock) I explain that I put the work in on a daily basis to make these options ok and available for me as a soul food or event. I am also a working mom and we all have our moments of shine and sparkle and those of smudgy reality. I make sure to smile and close my eyes and enjoy every sugary morsel and allow my lazy to fully sink into the couch and watch netflix smut from time to time. These are not daily habits I wallow in, they are moments I relish for their reward and what I have already accomplished.
As people and doctors, we need to occasionally take a step back and see the positive healing effects of the “unhealthy things”. Those things that nourish our soul, those things that bring us pure joy, or even give us the ease to not stress. These things can give us the reason to put the extra energy in the next day to accomplish our “healthy” list of to-do. Am I saying start chugging chocolate milk, while being a lazy couch potato because it brings you quick fix happiness?! No! I am saying let’s get serious about being healthy and part of that is making sure you are doing the things that make being healthy worth it. Maybe it is a weekly doughnut, a night out with the most amazing friends (you are only allowed to have amazing friends), or maybe it is the double day off from exercise in order to crunch in your favorite RomCom flicks. Check in- does it really make you happy? Does it bring a huge smile to your face? Does it make you feel like you are really living? Then hey, cheers to you and the soul food that nourishes the living life vibe. Choose your battles and enjoy the health of the unhealthy, because the stress of perfection is just not worth it.
